I think I spent years slowly breaking myself apart.
Not intentionally. Just little by little.
Putting everyone else first. Ignoring what I needed. Pushing through exhaustion. Forgetting the things that made me feel like me.
Until eventually, I realised I had become very good at functioning — but not necessarily at living.
I broke apart. I screamed. I cried. I panicked. I doubted.
I’m not fixed.
I’m still in the process of building myself back up.
Who am I!?
Some days I feel like I’m making progress. Other days I fall apart a little again.
And I might fail. I might have to take things apart and start rebuilding all over again.
And that is okay!
I’m so far away from myself that I need to find the way back to myself, and it will take time.
I’m learning to listen to my body. To rest without guilt. To say no. To make space for things I enjoy. To take care of myself instead of always giving until there is nothing left to give.
I’m not trying to become who I was before.
No way!
I’m trying to find me again.
And I’m still building.
One small piece at a time.
Ilze
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One minute at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Not thinking of what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, what you ‘should’ or ‘should not’ be doing . . . just being part of your family, part of your home, part of your environment . . . doing what seems right for the moment at home and at work . . . don’t keep on thinking, don’t ask ‘how am I doing’ . . . just live each day enjoying a home, a loving husband, growing kids . . . STOP ANALYSING . . . just be . . .
Don‘t try to fix yourself by yourself. Accept support & help & the love of those around you. You‘ll get there.
There is an old saying, “We cannot give from an empty cup.” I have found this to be very true. We must take care of ourselves and do those things that fill our own cups so that we can then in return help others to fill theirs. I wish you all the best.
Just sending hugs
Varbut tas nav pareizi bet es atradu kad es atguvu sevi and mans anxiety loti nomierinajas vienkarsi palikt sava dzivokli un neiet ara. Tagad tas is man darbojies pari par 2 gadiem bet saku domat vai nav par daudz.
So true. We can get so caught up in “doing” for everybody else, we forget to do for ourselves. I had this phone conversation this morning with my cousin. She called to asked to ask my advice on something, and I told her, “Do what is easiest for you.” That seems so counter intuitive to what we have been taught. Take care, I do know it gets easier when we let go of control, and/or the illusion of control. Blessings.
I understand this