I think I spent years slowly breaking myself apart.
Not intentionally. Just little by little.
Putting everyone else first. Ignoring what I needed. Pushing through exhaustion. Forgetting the things that made me feel like me.
Until eventually, I realised I had become very good at functioning — but not necessarily at living.
I broke apart. I screamed. I cried. I panicked. I doubted.
I’m not fixed.
I’m still in the process of building myself back up.
Who am I!?
Some days I feel like I’m making progress. Other days I fall apart a little again.
And I might fail. I might have to take things apart and start rebuilding all over again.
And that is okay!
I’m so far away from myself that I need to find the way back to myself, and it will take time.
I’m learning to listen to my body. To rest without guilt. To say no. To make space for things I enjoy. To take care of myself instead of always giving until there is nothing left to give.
I’m not trying to become who I was before.
No way!
I’m trying to find me again.
And I’m still building.
One small piece at a time.
Ilze
Discover more from a day in the life of a latvian mom
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
One minute at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time. Not thinking of what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, what you ‘should’ or ‘should not’ be doing . . . just being part of your family, part of your home, part of your environment . . . doing what seems right for the moment at home and at work . . . don’t keep on thinking, don’t ask ‘how am I doing’ . . . just live each day enjoying a home, a loving husband, growing kids . . . STOP ANALYSING . . . just be . . .
Don‘t try to fix yourself by yourself. Accept support & help & the love of those around you. You‘ll get there.