a day in the life of a latvian mom

I just couldn’t resist 🙂

We’ve all done it. We’re in the middle of a conversation, expressing a thought or opinion, when out pops the word “but”. It’s such a tiny, seemingly harmless word, yet it has the power to shift the entire tone of a sentence. While often necessary in communication, it can also hold us back in surprising ways.

Why “But” Matters So Much

“But” has a special function in language. It acts as a gatekeeper, signaling a shift or contradiction. For instance:

• “I love the idea, but it’s going to be difficult.”
• “This is great work, but it’s not exactly what we were looking for.”

Notice how the word shifts the focus immediately? Everything before the “but” is suddenly less important, or even disregarded, in favor of what comes after. It can undermine compliments, cut off possibilities, and halt the flow of positivity.

When “But” Limits Us

In everyday life, we often use “but” to introduce excuses or express hesitation:

• “I’d like to work out, but I’m too tired.”
• “I want to try that, but I’m afraid I’ll fail.”

These sentences could take on a whole new meaning if we just replace “but” with something more productive. What if we said:

• “I’d like to work out, and I’m going to start small.”
• “I want to try that, and I’ll learn from the experience.”

See how that little change opens up the possibility for action and growth? By letting go of “but,” we can shift our mindset from one of limitation to one of opportunity.

The “But” That Hurts Communication

In conversations with others, “but” can unintentionally undermine what we’re trying to say:

• “You’re doing a great job, but…”
• “I really appreciate your effort, but…”

No matter how genuine the compliment, “but” often makes the praise feel conditional. The person on the receiving end may only remember what came after, missing the positivity that preceded it.

Instead, try replacing “but” with “and” or a pause:

• “You’re doing a great job, and we can make it even better by…”
• “I really appreciate your effort. Let’s see how we can improve this further.”

This small shift softens the delivery and encourages open, constructive dialogue.

Is It Time to Give Up “But”?

I’m not suggesting we eliminate “but” from our vocabulary entirely. It has its place. However, becoming more mindful of how and when we use it can make a big difference. By catching ourselves before instinctively throwing in a “but,” we can foster more positive thinking, better communication, and an openness to new possibilities.

A Challenge for You

Next time you’re about to say or write “but,” pause for a moment. Could the sentence stand without it? Could it be replaced with “and” to keep things moving forward? You might be surprised how much this small shift changes your perspective.

In the end, “but” isn’t just a word—it’s a mindset. And the more we challenge it, the more we open ourselves up to the world beyond it. I struggle with this.

How about you!?

Ilze