a day in the life of a latvian mom

I’m so happy to have Melinda from Looking for the Light as a wonderful supporter in the blogging community. Although we haven’t known each other for long, her kindness, warmth, and genuine encouragement always shine through in her thoughtful comments. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend visiting her blog, where she shares beautiful insights and reflections on life. It’s a space filled with light, and I’m sure you’ll find something that resonates with you too.

Here is the interview. Her thoughtful insights and dedication to raising awareness make her a must-read for anyone seeking understanding and encouragement. Please read to the end—her story is one of remarkable strength, resilience, and hope.

Getting to Know You

What inspired you to start your blog, and how has it evolved since you began writing?

I started my first blog on WordPress, which was named Defining Memories and I blogged as a way to grieve the death of my Granny by sharing the caregiving tips I learned and posting photos of my rose bush and the critters outside. In 2014 I didn’t realize I could just rename my blog so I closed it down and started Looking for the Light and Survivors Blog Here. 

On Looking for the Light I broadened the topics I blogged about and started advocating for the top issues that concerned me. Survivors Blog Here was a collaborative blog and there were anywhere from 15-20 writers who contributed. The focus of the blog was to support survivors of all types including the mentally ill by writing about our experiences, a couple were great writers and wrote short stories or poetry, and another was an artist who published the most amazing art. We all contributed in our way, there were no rules, I didn’t into anyone’s business but made many great friends. I closed it down last year and now it gives me time to focus on one site.  

Can you share a bit about your life journey and the experiences that have shaped your blog, Looking for the Light?

The short, short version is that I am a child of abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, and sexual abuse from my father, was a warden of the state at 13 years old, have Bipolar Disorder and a long list of chronic illnesses. I spent many, many years in therapy to work through the trauma, in fact, I still see my therapist, and it’s been 31+ years. Even after you sort through the trauma, life can get hard and we need someone to talk to in confidence. Trauma also has a way of creeping back in when you least expect it, something unrelated can trigger a memory. I hope that by sharing my experiences, the good, bad, and ugly, it will help someone reach out for help or know that they are not alone. 

What hobbies or activities bring you the most fulfillment, especially while managing chronic illness?

That is a tough question because each illness is different. There have been times when getting out of bed was too much to ask so not much fulfillment at that time and neither did I care. My Bipolar Disorder has impacted my life the most, it has crippled me at times. If you looked at my post and general attitude six months ago, you would sense a different tone. I started a new medication about six months ago and color came back to life. Living a good life became important. Since starting the new medication I’ve been baking, cleaning the house, working in the yard, adding to the indoor plant collection, and as simple as it sounds, just putting the laundry away on the same days it’s washed is a big deal.  

Personality Insights

You describe yourself as an “armchair advocate.” What drives your passion for advocacy, and how has it shaped your blog’s purpose?

Long before I knew I was an advocate, I knew I cared deeply about people in certain situations. In the beginning, I did my own advocating by sharing my stories and those of others I knew just to bring attention to light. I later learned through research there were heavy-hitting organizations that advocated at a local and federal level. I joined many of them so I could learn more and properly represent the victims. The rest they say is history. My blog has been greatly shaped by my advocacy work even if I can only do it from my armchair or through the internet. 

What role does creativity, such as photography or art, play in your life and in coping with challenges?

For many years none of those things existed in my life, mental illness ruled my days and when my mental health improved, my physical health declined. My mental health is much better right now due to a new medication but my daily physical struggles are a challenge lately. I love taking photos and that always brings me joy, my dogs bring me joy 90% of the time. I don’t have play in my life but I do have plenty of art books to look at. 

How do you maintain a balance between raising awareness about serious issues and sharing uplifting aspects of life?

That’s a hard balance because I have a diverse following. Many men aren’t interested in some of the posts I write and it can be difficult to engage them. I don’t spend much time worrying about that kind of thing. I write for me first and I hope that the community will read a continue to follow. Since the medication is working so well, it gives the sunshine so that I can hopefully write about tough topics and still add enough to the post that is uplifting or inspirational. 

Reflective and Meaningful

What key lessons have you learned from your experiences with chronic illnesses, and how have they influenced your outlook on life?

My chronic illnesses have ranged from crippling to being functional. One thing I continue to learn is my attitude plays a huge role in how I look at life. When you’re in crippling pain there isn’t a joy to be found, you’re just getting by. When my illnesses are easier to handle, I have much more room in my life and that includes self-care, managing my attitude, and adding joy to my life. The overall impact is that life is a roller coaster and we do the best we can at each turn. 

How has your advocacy work around mental health and chronic illness impacted your relationships with others, both online and offline?

I don’t have life outside of the house so there hasn’t been an impact there except towards my doctors. Advocating fills me with hope that others will know their not alone and that there are resources out there. I’ve been brutally honest about my mental health and chronic health conditions. Most are not an effort to get people to feel sorry for me but hopefully inspired that someone came before them and survived. The key is to keep fighting. 

What do you hope readers take away from your posts on difficult topics like grief, abuse, or mental health?

I hope the words are similar to the words they would like to say but haven’t. There is such a stigma around abuse and mental health and families can be the worst to push you to keep quiet. That is the worst step to take and will not help you take steps to help yourself and build your best life. People have to build self-confidence to stand up to these archaic and selfish thoughts. 

Life Lessons and Reflections

Looking back on your journey from grief to advocacy, what’s the most significant change you’ve noticed in yourself?

The most important thing I’ve noticed is that I’m more compassionate. When you have felt someone’s pain or something close to it, it affects you personally. There are also people I’ve talked to who have been through horrific traumas that I’ve never experienced but somehow your heart feels for them and you can relate to the pain. 

What advice would you offer someone navigating a similar path, whether through health struggles, trauma, or personal loss?

I’m the last one to give advice but will say the most important thing is to keep hope alive, keep moving forward, even if it is an inch, and cut all the negativity out of your life and that includes social media. There to many haters on social media and believe me they will troll you for every success. Been there, done that. 

How do you stay motivated to keep writing, advocating, and uplifting others, even during your toughest moments?

My toughest moments were long ago, while having a chronic illness is hard on the mind and body, it’s different than trauma. If writing about my experiences helps someone that’s icing on the cake, I write for my mental health. If I’m not motivated to write, I don’t however that doesn’t happen often because writing helps me. I am extremely motivated to spread awareness on the issues most important to me because I want everyone to know. I didn’t know at a young age or even into my 30s, so it’s important to point out the nuances and the resources. 

Melinda’s story is a reminder that even in the face of adversity, there is always room for strength, growth, and hope. Let her journey inspire yours like it did with mine!

Ilze