This morning I woke up at 11am and couldn’t open my eyes. It was so dark outside — and just as dark inside — that for a second, I thought it was already evening. You know that strange twilight feeling, when the sky doesn’t care what time it is?
I tried to shake it off with a cup of coffee. I almost never drink caffeine, but desperate times… Still, it didn’t help. My head began to ache, my body felt heavy and sore, like I hadn’t slept at all. Nothing felt right. I wanted to crawl back into bed and vanish for the rest of the day.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I decided to turn it around.
I drove to the forest.
Tired and dragging, it felt like I couldn’t walk more than a few steps — but I pushed myself. It was raining, that kind of rain that makes everything feel colder than it should. But I had my Pavers rubber boots on and didn’t care about getting wet. My trousers soaked quickly as I walked through blueberry bushes, the cold leaves brushing against my legs. Still, I kept walking, one slow foot after another. The moss was soaked…swamped…
I was searching for chanterelles — but really, I was searching for something to lift the fog inside me.
Nature has always been my medicine when nothing else works. Its silence, its messiness, its quiet insistence that life goes on — it heals me in ways I can’t explain.
I found enough golden chanterelles for dinner. But more importantly, I found enough to feel human again. Enough to remember that even the darkest days can be softened by the scent of wet pine, the spongy give of moss underfoot, and the gentle rhythm of rain tapping on your hood.
I even heard a raven! Sometimes, you don’t need a plan. You just need to say yes when the forest calls.
Ilze
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a day in the life of a latvian mom 
Overall a good day, Ilze. I thought you meant it was totally black at 11AM!!
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It was dark when it should not be dark.. because of heavy gray clouds.. not the overcast, real dark clouds. In Latvian we say – black 🙂
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Good for you for finding joy in the darkness, Ilze. I admire you.
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Thank you, Mary! I can’t always turn it around! I struggle a lot, but this time I was listening to my heart, not my mind or logic… and I’m glad I did.
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Well done. I hope you feel better now
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Yes! It’s also sunny outside… helps a lot!
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A great way to start the day, but it’s still summer! Was it simply the rain filled skies? Here we have sunrise at around 5am and it’s still light at 10pm! I will have to check your latitude! 🤗😊
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The same here 🙂 Rise around 5am and is up till 10pm. But it was so dark on sunday, poaring rain… I needed to go out and wash everything away.. feel the rain on my skin, hear it and recharge… trousers are still damp.. I put them in washer and hope they will dry out soon 🙂
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Hi Ilze, I did check my weather app. and it’s telling me you will soon be in bed! 😉 So I hope I’m not keeping you from sleep. I am in Northern Ireland and it is only 8pm and the sun is shining at last. We’ve had some sunshine and rain at the same time which makes for interesting skies! Have a good night, Ashley 👨🙏
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Hi Ashley,
Haha, your weather app was spot on! 😄 It was almost bedtime here indeed, though I was still winding down—just finished watering the greenhouse. I love that you’re getting some sunshine at last! Sunshine and rain sounds like a recipe for rainbows and dramatic skies—nature showing off a bit.
Wishing you a lovely week over there in Northern Ireland.
Take care,
Ilze
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A lovely way to make a recovery.
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I felt so low—it’s amazing I even had this wonderful thought! But I’m so glad I did, and that Jānis drove me there. I do have a license and can drive, but honestly, that could’ve been the perfect excuse not to go.
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